i know alex already posted it....but LOOK...Chewy is returning for Episode III!!! damn, it WAS storming but now it's BEAUTIFUL out..what the hell? i liked the thunder and the rain thank you very much. i have to go get the cats (real names: Spooky and Funny Face...alternate names in Britt's galaxy: Black Kitty and Braveheart) today...they should be REAL happy to see me. good thing i bought them toys yesterday....with CATNIP. they can get all doped up now. i really do not want to work tonight. sure, i'm delivering, but that just means if i DO get busy, dishes will fall behind (and it's not like they do them while i'm gone), but otherwise i'm dishdog, and i have no one fun working tonight. DAMMIT. last night i was a crapass too...poor diana and sissy...but dammit, i get shit on my mind and then i can't shake it, so i'm sorry...i'm not about to be a kaci...i swear.

DAMN IT. i just lost a post. and NO, it's not blogger's fault, it's my shit ass cock sucking ass rammer computer. i'm telling you, the $700.00 i paid for it was $700.00 too much. piece of shit. i'll be glad when i get a super nuclear one, then i'll BASH THE SHIT out of this one. anyhow. Black Kitty and Braveheart went off to the animal clinic (hospital?) today....poor things...they had NO CLUE what was going on..or what's about to. sheesh, they're gonna hate me. they're gonna be all not-able-to-reproduce and declawed when i get them tomorrow, and their hate will slowly wear off. especially when i tell them it was all nikki's idea! MUH HAHA. pry not, those cats never listen to me. and i want NO comments on how declawing is cruel or mean or the like...so i don't want to hear anything negative about nikki, it's bad enough i have to be mean to management when they say something bad about her. she's certainly one of the NICEST (if not THE nicest) people i know and a huge animal lover at that, and she knows what's best, so fuck off...take your soapbox elsewhere..

other than that, i got nothing....have a good drinky drinky tuesday!!

sheesh i wake up with a backache, i swear it's those video games at 21st Century from friday...goddamn video games are gonna RUIN me nowadays...and then i get commanded to by the Liquid Lunch Nazi to get over there. but to catch you up, saturday's show went GREAT. mom and dad showed up, as well as kim, nikki, and barb. and they loved it...well..they loved pointing and laughing at me cause i was a 45 year old..HA HA HA. hey, whatever works...pictures to come soon, and aidan, i'll send that video out as soon as i can.

nikki left today, so i have to take care of the Cats Gone Wild..and also de-Wild them on tuesday. ie - declawed and fixed. but she got me the BEST housesitting present..for real...hair dye (yea! i DON'T have to wait til my birthday!) and a new tongue ring (or barbell sorry..it's not literally a ring), although YES, i have not changed the one i got since i've gotten it pierced, so thank god when i went to pick up my housesitting gifts last night, i was a bit ummm..medicated...(ie- i had been drinking at diana's for two hours and also had a drink or two at pepperoni's), so i was more brave to change it. i'm sorry, make that have nikki do it. yea, you know you got a true friend when they'll stick their fingers in your mouth. and DAMN does it feel WEIRD without it in there. and i honestly didn't think i'd be able to stick it back through, the hole isn't THAT big, but damn, is it easy..and now i got a shorter one, so it's easier to eat. it had gotten pretty easy to eat anyhow..anyway, the Nazi is getting restless, i better go.

also, for those of you who like Whitesnake, the new installment of the Bling Bling comic has arrived...

despite yesterday's efforts to make my day BAD...the show actually was...well...interesting. i dunno if brian said a wrong line or shanna (it was one of them though, but that's not a big deal at all, i've done it PLENTY of times), but somehow we skipped ahead and interchanged things. bill was cracking up after the show how he has all these little speeches where he goes out into the audience, and how a lot of them are sort of similar. he said it seemed like every 5 seconds, he was going back out into the audience to give another damn speech. but since everything was so jumbled up and we all were thinking in our head simulataneously "where the hell are we??!!" with what's going on with the play, we just threw out whatever line. miraculously, it worked. we never really lost the thread of the play and got right back on track. two reasons this happened: #1- we knew the show and how it went, as well as the general idea..good God, we'd done it so many times. and #2- i work with a damn fine bunch of actors, they can improvise their way out of a paper bag (no clue what THAT means). hence, it's funny the play is called Impromptu...but that just helped with our "we're-actors-on-the-stage-but-we-aren't-sure-what-we're-supposed-to-do" situations we may have run into. all in all, we had a good time. i do wish i would have known that no one wanted to get photos with the cast after the show. this is something we tried in Glasford with The Temp....but it didn't really fly then. so i had to stay in costume even AFTER the show was done...and i HATE that costume. i love it when i can get out of it. tonight should be fun, mom and dad are coming again, and nikki, brian and kim too. and they better all be ready to party like it's 1999 2003!!!!!!!!

it's that time again....the time to POST. yea, you lucky bastards...britt's back. and yes, i feel better. it's actually good to let it out. things are never as bad as they seem (as they seem on my blog and as they truly seem in real life). anyhow, it's good to have a "really guys, i'm ok" post, so i can look back and see how resilient i am. if you send any good thoughts out, do so for diana and her goings on, and nikki, for her potential jobs (or as i like to call them Plans For Leaving Britt...hehe). but get this, today started out HORRIBLE...like stereotypical horrible...first, i awoke from a bad dream..like scary...and realistic...i dreamt my grandpa haunted my room every night cause my parents had SEEN it. now i love and miss my grandpa, but i am terrified of ghosts..so when i woke up, it felt eerily real...i mean, i believe in ghosts..so this wasn't a "there's-a-monster-under-my-bed"-dream-so-it's-just-a-dream...no, i was still unsure if it was a dream. so then i go back to sleep, still freaked..and awake again at 10:43 AM...ummm..ok, i work at 11...SHIT. and guess WHAT woke me up? those horrible horrible DEAR GOD horrible especially this month CRAMPS. so i was a bit late for work, and a little smelly i'll bet too (go ahead and pounce all over that one nik)..and i only had ONE COFFEE!!! i'm lucky i stayed awake for that 2 hour shift. AND, it was rainy out and i pissed off the garbage man by parking by the dumpster....but hey, i'm not saying those like they're BAD things...those are GOOD things! AH HA HA....awww..POOOOR garbage man...is your job too hard?? but anyhow, that struff didn't get me down, it's a 24 hour day, sheesh, i don't work any more jobs today and i got another show tonight..and my parents and sandi (and i think holly and pete and the kids) are coming. woo! all the bad shit already happened (DEAR God, i HOPE). anyhow, i'm off, i had errands to run so once again, have a good day everyone.

man, i cannot wait for this week to be over...no this year...well..maybe 2 years..maybe by then i'll have a real job and moved out of here so i can stop bugging my parents. you're going to have to bear with me here, folks, i figure if i let this out i'll feel better. it's been a shitty week for me so far...and i haven't drank since monday. why? well, #1, i have a show this week, and i want to stay healthy (yea, i guess), and #2, i am way too stressed out, what with the portugese things and the show and the fact that if i don't quit waldenbooks soon, i'm going to face a major gulit trip. nikki's leaving, jean's leaving...hell, i guess I'M the new keyholder. but they can kiss it, cause i am not becoming full time (or whatever), i'm getting the hell out of here in a year, i'm sorry. and so you guys know, because apparently i don't keep anyone up to date with this cause i don't like talking about it, my mom may have more surgery cause her stmach is acting up again. they removed her gall bladder, but the bile duct may be giving her these pains. and she's wearing a heart monitor cause she's been having panic attacks. see...there i got it out...now you know..i worry to death about her every day..which conflicts with my i-want-to-move-out plan. oh well...i wrote this to feel better and it's sort of worked. i gotta go to work...see you guys later.

like diana...i'm growing infectiously happy...and why? well well..it looks like SOMEone is begging for a list:

1) my Portugese spies can kiss my ass...i've dutifully forgotten them and cut my Portugese ties.
2) my show opens tonight, and despite being nervous, it's a good nervous, it went pretty well last night.
3) i only work 1-4 today..three WHOLE hours..enough time for me to take over the store while karen is taking her three hour lunch. ah HA HA. and what would i do if i could TAKE OVER the store? close it.
4) i got a Good Charlotte CD in the mail yesterday..now all i need is a new discman to listen to it for my car.
5) my family (sans my dad) returns from Florida tonight...FINALLY..get back to this cold ass weather.
6) i don't have to work tomorrow night!!! i can go to that tupperware party!! yea, i know , that sounds lame, but it really means a lot to chalise and rika...THANKS SO MUCH NIKKI!

it's TUESDAY!!! you know what THAT means!! i work with some of my most favorite people ever. diana, sissy..and today i get the bonus of nikki. damn, when my mom returns from florida, my dad won't be able to tell her what i've been up to. he hasn't seen me, except for easter. and today is no different, though it may be one of the last of those days. work, work, rehearsal...dress rehearsal. woo..i get to wear my wig, tight black dress, and heels. damn...that just sounds uncomfortable. and my hair is nearly normal now...i'm out of dye, as you know and it's starting to fade..so sad. and as for the last entry...it's those damn Portugese spies...they ruined my easter with their rude comments about my picks for the Kentucky Derby. bastards....show some respect.

if i'm such a good person why do i let people that don't even matter get me down?

bastards...THANKS FOR ALMOST RUINING MY EASTER YOU MORONS!!

yes, bill really does say "whooooooa"

bill: something funny came through my nuclear brain
bill: I thought woooaaaa! if Hooters has attractive waitresses
duley95: waitresses??
duley95: i thought they were strippers
duley95: SHY STRIPPERS

Happy Easter!!



and now, for an easter joke....

It was following the resurrection and disciples were still somewhat scattered about Jerusalem and the surrounding villages. John finds Peter and runs up to him. Excitedly he says, "Peter, Peter! I've got some good news and some bad news."

Peter takes ahold of John and calms him down. "Take it easy, John. What is it? What's the good news?"

John says, "The good news is Christ is risen."

Peter says, "That's great! But, what's the bad news?"

John, looking around, says, "He's really steamed about last Friday."

anyhow, today is my ONE DAY OFF...woo! and me and my dad....since that's the only family that's NOT in Florida...are going to go to Hooter's for Easter lunch. that's right, Hooter's. how funny is that? i think my dad's going for the wings...heh..yea. but he does say we need to get there early, as to "avoid the church rush." too funny. anyways, i hope everyone has a great easter.

in my inbox today:

From: John Williams x
Subject: britt... Look and feel 10-Years-Younger!

1) ok, why would John Williams, the composer for Star Wars email me this?
2) and who said he could refer to me as "britt"?
3) why would i want to look 15??!
4) does he think i'm ACTUALLY like 50 or something??
5) since when does "10 Years Younger" require all those hyphens?

the worst thing about Leroy the stray cat is that when you walk, she LITERALLY walks RIGHT in front of your path...i've almost tripped over her about 12 times. unfortunately, i'm already hungry, and it's only 3:40. what the fuck? suuure..and other time, i'd be fine like until 6:00. it's a good thing i work at an Italian restaurant. damn, whatever the hell i eat at midnight is gonna taste so damn good. watch it be Horse's Ass. just my luck....midnight approaches and THE ONLY DAMN THING WE HAVE TO EAT IN THE HOUSE IS DAMN HORSE'S ASS!!!!* anyhow, i saw 8 Mile last night, and it was pretty good. i don't give a shit if you like Eminem or not, he was pretty damn good in it. i also rented Ash Wednesday...haha...how appropriate...being that it's Good Friday...what a way to bookend Lent. ahem..sorry Catholic humor (that only is funny to be probably).

* we don't actually keep horse's ass in the house.

ARGGGHHH...I HATE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS!!!

my tv hadn't yet been changed...and i MISSED "Friends"!!!!!!!

GOD DAMN IT...why do i keep doing this??? man, i'm a dumbass..

Happy Good Friday everyone...

Vh1 has this way of pulling me in. yesterday, they had a "I Love the 80s" show on. and like, each hour was a diffrerent year. it was GREAT...but i had to work (i caught this during my 10 minute stop home in between jobs). damn, i gotta check the listings for that one...i can sit at home all day and watch tv. this will HAVE to be sunday, being that's my day off. i feel better about the show than i did before....not that i think we'll flop; we have an amazingly talented cast..and we work wonderful together...it's just that week-mounting-before-the-show nerves. tomorrow is good friday, which means no eaty eaty for the britt...so send an email or IM with constant support..adn NO don't tell me what you're eating. jerks. just kidding..i love you all.

so instead of posting silly little britt thoughts, let me tell you what's really been going on in my life. i've been working at waldenbooks during the day and pepperoni's at night and rehearsal after that...our show opens next wednesday, come see it. if you want to see me play a 40 year old and wear a wig possessing a style only someone 40 might wear, then this play is for you. also, i get to be really mean and yell at bill..a lot. anyhow, i really don't want to go to work today. i hate going in so karen can take her three hour lunch. seriously, and monday night, i was so bored (i seriously had like TWO customers), i cleaned all the shelves...ALL of them. so returns are ALL done and the place is immaculate.

- my mom, holly, pete, and my niece and nephew flew to Florida today for a week. have fun guys! i'll just....stay...here...in....Illinois.
- you know it's gonna be a bad song when it starts off with "yeeea..."
- no, i didn't color my hair for easter...would everyone stop asking that.
- the employees a staples need something to do. i found what i need...stalker.

i'm becoming a five-chapter-a-night wuss.

i did it! i found it! the other night at Koch Street Bar...well...ok, it was like LAST saturday....diana said something i found damn funny, so i wrote it down to post it...and then I LOST THE DAMN LITTLE PIECE OF PAPER. but i found it.....

diana: "you're a retard, STOP IT"

yea? funny?? im a ret-ahhh..nevermind. sissy lent me Season 2 of "Friends" and nikki gave me some major liquid dope and i'm feeling a little fucked up right now, so i'll end this entry...

it's here...what you've all waited for (NO, NOT HARRY FUCKING POTTER ON DVD...BITE ME)..

Britt's Birthday List

- someone pay off my $30,000 loan i owe ISU. please. pretty please.
- hair dye....yea...i'm out.
- a DVD player.
- more memory for my computer...apparently, it sucks ass.
- unlimited bottles of Captain Morgan.....i am so serious.

or pick from here....YEA....YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

actually, all i really want is a card. seriously, i love cards more than anything..they show YOU CARE.

ps- my birthday isn't until June 5, so you have buttloads of time.

finally...a Creve Coeur family's own first website....

i lied. the NEW bling bling comic won't be up just yet. i am so sorry as to have lied to you...i guess i get ahead of myself. and the montana and wisconsin galleries won't come til i can get some more pictures from the rest of the camping crew....so HOLD TIGHT. today i worked 1-9:30, so that's why i wasn't online...so i hope you all talked about me. go see diana's gallery of the Liquid Lunch Wednesday!!! it's so much fun and will no doubt change your life. and go comment on her blog to tell her you loved it.

and apparently my goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Tempestuous Juice.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.

i think i might actually be able to pull off orange today.

WOO!

it's about time...goddamn, let's get this crap over with and get everyone home for crying out loud. i got PEOPLE over there. ok, i have a cousin, but STILL..i have a cousin dammit.
note: this is the first and last time i will pry link to war coverage.

elsewhere...heh...see??? i didn't say "in other news"...DAMN IT! i just did! anyhow, i'm off to the Peoria world of thrift stores..and taking diana and tiffany with me. they like to stay in the first P-town see, and i'm taking them to the Mack Daddy of towns...well, not really, but DAMN, the Goodwills have so much more. plus we have the good old liquid lunch...which refers to water of course...heh..you know me.

SIGN MY DAMN GUESTMAP FOOLS!!!

thank you, i love you.

maybe quite possibly tenatively be on the lookout for a new bling bling comic addition...yea, i know, i promise a lot of stuff...and i'm full of empty promises...but i got three words for that: SHUT THE HELL...UP. shit, i just realized since i said it, i'll get hits for "bling bling." NO, i don't know what it means...ask andrea.

in other news...god DAMN..why do i start entries like that? and i need to stop saying "GOD DAMN"...also "argh," "fascist," and "cock sucking ass rammer"...for real. anyhow, The Davinci Code is NOW #1 on the best seller list...like the BIG one...not just the piddly Waldenbooks one that we get stats on every frickin' day. it's ALSO 59 days til my birthday...get your shopping IN..not that i'm counting...for real...who's throwing me the party this year?? see how fun was had last year? it's time to start planning, yo.

ps- ACTUAL birthday list coming soon.

FUN things to do at Pepperoni's
(as accumulated on Friday)
- when people get up to leave, scream after them "HEY!!! YOU DIDN'T PAY!!!""
- no matter what they order to drink, keep bringing them milk.
- sing along with the Muzak, but with ALL the wrong lines.
- kick people's children (note: this may have something to do with the fact that britt dislikes children)
- do your interpretative dance to Pollo Tuscana.
- smack Tiffany in the face (she's gonna beat my ass for that)
- Kung Fu fight

I GOT IT I GOT IT!!!!!!
MUH HAHAHA


i'll see you guys in a few days....

BEST line from "Friends":
Phoebe: "They thought they could mess with us! They're trying to mess with us? WAIT! They don't know that we know they know we know!"

the Family Gallery IS coming soon...this time i shit you not.....any additional pictures you may have..send em in....

"i'm on my feet, i'm on the floor, i'm good to go. so come on davey, sing me something that i know."

if you guess the song (and artist) i kid you not, i will buy you a twinkie.*

* not valid in Tazewell County

- it's funny how everyone at waldenbooks calls me "britt" yet i refer to myself as "brittany" when talking to a customer..then they look at my nametag quizzically. ok, maybe that's NOT funny.
- wal mart almost fooled me tonight with their $10 DVD of "Friends" season one (as well as season two)...it's JUST FIVE OF "THE BEST" EPISODES...nice try wal mart.

i changed the "random" and "stats" pop ups, cause apparently, the text was DAMN small..so go recheck them out and brush up on Brittology. and check out jason's site, it got a new face! WOO!

i really like saying WOO...i don't think i can stop.

i just lost a GOD DAMN hour of sleep!!!!! CURSE YOU daylight savings time....YOU STUPID SUNNVA...i'll daylight savings YOU!!!!!!*

* i have no clue what that means...

the squirrel now has an easter basket...enjoy.

more random thoughts attained from work...YOU LUCKY DOG!
- goth kids need to go away. stop trying to adhere to your "how to be goth" stereotypes. i tried out my "how to be punk/emo" booklet and FAILED (i eat meat see...)...but i do love thift stores and the so called "emo music"...so bite me. GET OUT OF STORE HIPPIE- oops...i mean GOTHIE.
- putting ISBNs on the INSIDE cover of books when it so clear the type of book requires it to be on the OUTSIDE is just plain gay.
- since when did Playboy have their own bartender's guide??
- that linguine primavera that janet ordered tonight was slowly driving me insane.

how is it that old people can drive 20 MPH and get away with it? i mean, honestly.

- the guy that comes into the bookstore and creeps me out and the guy that buys porn inconspicuously (well he tries) could be related; they have that some "ugh-you-creep-me-out" look to them.
- my comic series is UP...well, there's only two thus far, but there's a TITLE page...wooo.
- for completing my Columbia House DVD Club membership, they've decided to let me pick a free DVD, all i pay is shipping ($4)..so i picked the ridiculously-expensive-but-totally-worth-it "Friends:the Complete First Season"....SUCKERS!
- the paper boy (age: 30 something) has somewhat of a crush on me.

i love it when Sprint sends me a bill that says "hi. you owe nothing. ok...thanks."

other things:

- linguine primavera is DAMN messy, but it's all worth it.
- hornsby's has a new bottle label. has it been THAT long since i have drank it?? damn..it's more potent than i thought.
- monica was wearing nearly the SAME SHIRT i had on today in tonight's episode of "Friends."
- i absolutely LOVE Good Charlotte...i hope they can play my birthday.
- why the hell did i agree to go in to work tomorrow morning???? ARGGGGHH..
- my parents hate me...look, they dressed me as a clown on halloween one year....

fun responses to STUPID questions:
"did you know your hair is green/blue?" WHAT??? IT IS???!!! (run from room)
"are you guys open?" no, we've been closed for 3 months now...how did you get in here?
"how much is this?" did you try looking for a price? that always helps me...
"when did you get your tongue pierced?" i have my TONGUE pierced??

you know, i saw two documentaries on the music networks, and they were both things i never thought i'd glue myself to the tv watching, True Life on MTV and Driven on VH1. for real, True Life was A day in the Life of a Stripper Named Bailey That Has a Conscience and Goes To Therapy...sounds like a children's book...almost. but the Driven show on VH1 was good, damn, i never realized the "girls gone wild" videos had such a history..and made SO DAMN MUCH. geez, the founder (who's like, only 29) is a millionaire.

so anyway, today i get to go into work at 6...YEA! after i unfold diana's gallery..be on the lookout for that..it's gonna be kick ass. and by kickass i mean totally cool cause i'm in some of the pictures...oh wait, that means it WON'T be kick ass. is kick ass one word?? like kickass or is it separated like KICK.....ASS??? oh well. there's better things to do with my thursday. tomorrow starts my task of Taking Care of Nikki's House, The. aka- PARTY AT NIKKI'S! kidding. no one would find it. if the cats are martixy enough, i may make a "Cats Gone Wild!" video. we'll see.

if you are (God Forgive you) or have any friends that are Harry Potter fans, go check out my auction....and BID! cause i'm money hungry...yea, i am.

Montana and Wisconsin (alternate title: Britt's Trials At the Camping Thing, Takes One and Two) galleries coming soon....

so yesterday i slept a uninterrupted sleep til 11:30 AM. see, nikki had unleashed a plan to wake my ass up at 9:30, but nooo...the machine gobbled her attempt up. well..maybe it wasn't a plan, she just wanted me to work for her. then tiffany calls. sheesh, does she want me to work for her too?? honestly folks, i may be ambidextrous, but i'm not that good. but it was ok, she just wanted me to go shopping with her. and by shopping, she means Goodwill. woo hoo. my favorite kind. alas, they didn't have much. but before that, some dumbass cop and towing guy were in front of her house looking all tough. yea, really, you guys scare me. apparently, she needed some registration for the white car sitting in front of her house, and she had been told 3 or 5 or 17 times blah blah and hasn't gotten them or moved the car yet..yea whatever guys..so we put it in neutral and moved into the drive (me, tiffany, diana...and EVENTUALLY the tow truck guy...jeez..jackass)...but not the cop...cause he's a fascist ass ramming cock sucker...so i guess he didn't feel he was strong enough to help. so anyways, after shopping i got diana's pictures up...so GO SEE THEM. then i ventured off to work, where i was totally off...of course i'm referring to tequila eating my brain...goddamn evil elixir. anyhow, i couldn't even bring myself to sell a damn PR card...and the anime chicks were in tonight too. god damn it girls, BUY a book, stop pretending this is the library. next time i'm bring in this picture.