questions i can't yet answer........
- how the hell did i hurt my finger last night in the bathroom in Fiesta?
- WHAT THE HELL was in that maragrita? (note: i have drank a many of those before..but THAT one..whew)
- why do i get all flush when i drink certain types of alcohol? (i swear it's God's way of saying "stick to beer britt")
- how come i unintentionally fall asleep sitting up when i need to be awake? (sorry nik)
- why was the A Team theme running through my head when i woke up this morning?
- my car's at Fiesta, right? damn...i should have left a note on my blog like last time.

ps- i think i drank enough this weekend to fill my quota for the year...

and finally....at long last..what you've all been waiting for.....(just pretend for me)

The Random Photo Array, Part Three








me and bill at the Taste of Peoria 2001....bill's caught off guard.









alex and i at the Taste...yea, my hairs a little green up front...if you get THISCLOSE.










alex and bill...give it up bill...i said GIVE IT UP! ok, that's good enough.

oh my God, i found THIS and just HAD to take it.....diana, you TOO:


Bars seem to be the only prominent feature of this
freaking town


Would you be able to Survive in Peoria, IL.
brought to you by Quizilla

Reasons I'm The Worst Bartender in the World

- if they order a Bloody Mary "kinda weak," i load it up with vodka (pussies).
- if you can't pronounce it, you don't deserve it.
- i seem to be drinking up some of the profit.
- i hate your "one time when i was drunk..." stories...shut up.
- i want to make sure my patrons stagger out.

dammit...why do i keep taking all these tests?? i said i HATED the internet...and i do..sometimes. it's all diana's fault!!! plus i was dying to see what kind of drug i was....


Cocaine.
You like to talk,
you like to run,
but most of all you like to have fun.


Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

uh oh...that's no good...

my friends over you


What Punk Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

sometimes i hate you internet.

too much Primus makes one hyper...or wait..could that be the coffee??? and is there such a thing as too much Primus?

thnak god for Modern Drunkard magazine and maddox...they keep me going daily.

har har oui oui

as far as the French thing that America has going on...ie- "french fries" are now "freedom fries"....i don't get it. like France is REALLY gonna be hurt "we aren't happy with them now" when they see what we've changed our food to. but while we're at it...

French Kissing will now be known as Liberty Licking
Croquet will now be known as Fairy Ball
Canada will now be known as North North Dakota
French's Mustard will now be known as Yellow-Alert Sauce

and thanks to EW:
Paris, Texas will now be known as Texas. to avoid confusion, the James Michener book Texas will now be known as T. if there ever comes a book by the name of T, we'll pretend it doesn't exist. the refrain from "Lady Marmalade" will be rendered as "will you sleep with me tonight?" which, admittedly, does make it hard to distinguish it from other christina aguilera songs.

while watching the Oscars tonight:

me: Renee Zellweger always has that weird look on her face, like she's about to sneeze or something..
my mom: or poop.

it's a beautiful day in the neighboorhood....

ok that was corny, but i had to...it jumped into my head.
(mouseover for descriptions)





as you have have read first...cause everyone reads nikki's blog before mine, cause well..she gets up a lot earlier than i do. i'm kidnapping taking phoebe with nikki's consent for most the day. i have no clue what we'll do. last time i took phoebe, she expressed an interest in FINALLY seeing the Peoria Irish Pubs...but i don't know...we'll see how that fake ID came out. i do want to take her to see my sister, she'd get a kick out of her. my discman BROKE! argh! maybe it's cause i punch it (i like to show it who's boss)....but i dunno..anyhow, investments in a new one are welcome. my birthday is coming up in 76 short days...not that i'm counting...ohh..and brian's (known as "beej" on the web) birthday is tomorrow, so email him or something..i think he's 26. and diana's daughter is...uhhh...12?? i think tomorrow also...regardless, i'm going to her big kegger party with children tonight after work. woo! and yea, email her too...she really is 12 or so, so don't be stupid in the email....

i hate March Madness...what right does it have to take over UPN during "Friends" ?? fucking bastards...

that beer diana gave me on my delivery to her house (see Collaborative List of Customers From Pepperoni's, A) went straight to my head...wooo. i was head buzzing for about an hour. i guess it helps if you've eaten in the duration of the day too...whoops.

oh my god...that movie is as long as THE DAMN CIVIL WAR ITSELF!!!

today i saved my cousin kim's life. well not really. but i did do my "i-just-saved-your-life-or-made-your-day" Lent thing. she was stranded at the airport in North Carolina en route to Jamaica. see, i guess you can't just use your birth certificate from the hospital to go overseas...you need the actual one from the Tazewell County Courthouse...so in comes britt...half awake and fresh from bed...to save the day. well, i guess. i had some problems finding the Fed Ex location in Pekin...turns out it's not at the post office, but at Mailboxes, Inc. and THEN, i set off the metal detector at the courthouse. sheesh...yes, i have my tongue pierced. but at least i got to stick my tongue out at that stupid cop that acted less-than-thrilled to be doing his job. so kim should now be bound for tropical location by saturday...and i'll still be here...waitaminute...

occurrences and thoughts of wed mar 19 2003

- i asked karen "where the hell does this disney crap go?" you should have seen her face. i bet she'll think twice about yelling at nikki now.
- doing dishes all night makes me feel like i least earned my keep.
- my back hurts from said activity.
- i never got kissed for st. patrick's day.
- the war has begun.

Happy Birthday Mom!!

that's right, my mom is a ripe old age of...uhhh...29. i guess. we'll go with it that. like it matters. she looks great. what is the deal with birthdays? is this the cool month or what? i feel left out. but THAT'S OK...i'm not looking forward to being 26. i better have a big party...that's all i'm saying...cause i'm gonna be DUH-pressed. (not necessarily, i'm looking for an excuse for a big party) it got a little colder today and no offense diana, but i LOVE it. i hope it storms. sure yesterday was nice, and i was in a good mood..but it KILLS me, cause i have to dress nice for waldenbooks (well sort of, you should see the things i wear...heh), then do dishes at pepperoni's. now technically, if i have to do dishes, i'm wearing a t-shirt..plus it's warm out..but i can't wear THAT at waldenbooks. dammit. speaking of which, i got called in 1-4 today. i could have said no, but i'm a sucker, they knew i'd come in...plus hey, it's hours.

and i can't seem to stop listening to the Chicago soundtrack...i'd say it knocks off Cabaret as my favorite musical..but i've never really SEEN Chicago, just the movie. Cabaret i actually DID do, even though i was assistant stage manager..but hey..THAT'S A LOT OF HARD WORK. it sucked too, but i'm glad it's over...click here for pics of the set i had to build. i'm kidding, though i wouldn't put it past ISU to make the assistants BUILD the damn thing.

argh...today went pretty good, at least i was more conscious at waldenbooks...but it ended kinda crappy. not that it was REAL bad...but i had to do dishes tonight at pepperoni's AND deliver...and i didn't make CRAP. no, for real, i think i scrwed something up. i had three deliveries and made like $1.36. like i said...argh. and i've been real emotional lately, ithink it's that time of the month. look out. it's not like i'm mean or anything...just ultra sensitive. i hate it. really really hate it. so word to the wise, noboby make me cry.

The MondayTuesday Mission 3.11

1. Do you have any plans for "Spring Break" this year?
Spring Break??? what's that?? i havn't had one of those since...uhhh..well, school..but i can guarantee i will work. everyone (and by this i mean my mom, my sister, her husband, and their kids) seems to be leaving for florida, so i'll do some housesitting too.

2. Did you ever have any wild Spring Break experiences?
haha...once when i was 12 my sister dyed all my clothes blue (or purple depending on the color) when we wnet down to florida. i know, we're CRAZY right?

3. What is your most memorable vacation of your youth?
hmmm..going to st. louis with my family to see a Cardinal game and ROOT FOR THE OTHER TEAM.

4. What was the best vacation you've ever had as an adult?
California.

5. Now, what is that "Dream Vacation" that you have always wanted to take if you had the time & money?
damn...pry drive all over the country...MEGA ROAD TRIP!

6. Have you ever take, or had the urge to take, a "blog vacation?" That is, just taking some time off from blogging?
i have..and did. it was soothing. but my fans missed me.

7. You know how you get that creepy "danger" vibe you sometimes get from people you don't know? Has that ever turned out to be right? Or have you ever had a bad feeling about someone or a situation and not listened to that "little voice?"
you're freaking me out.

since i have to post post and then post some more so i can scoot those pictures off here and post more (less time to load when you don't have 9 pictures to load)...here goes..

happy st. patrick's day!

it's the st. patrick's day post...are you ready?? let's see how many people actually kiss me this year...well, let's see if anyone kisses me at all. pay no attention to that slogan-marketing-malarkey..i REALLY am irish, a kiss is the LEAST you can do. last night i saw Chicago yet again..still one of my favorites. i wish they'd redo Cabaret, the 1972 one left something to be desired..in other words, it SUCKED. anyhow, if you haven't seen it, do it. i don't care if you're "not a musical person," suck it up and see something different for a change. it's too bad musicals are actually so damn expensive, i'd live at them.

anyhow, chalise will be over shortly and then we're off to see the parade in peoria. don't get me wrong, i'd love to go to chicago and see THAT parade (the south side one of course, not the commercial downtown one Bush goes to), but it's not really too much worth it unless you really plan ahead. maybe when i move up there it'll be a staple every year. afterward, we'll pry try to get in a pub..any pub. all the irish ones will be crowded of course, cause those who want to be irish and are pretending the best way they know how wouldn't be caught dead at anything non-irish. anyhow, wish us luck...haha..get it..."luck"...that wasn't even an attempt at a joke either..sometimes it just COMES OUT. we are venturing back to pekin to drink there (gotta drink in your hometown) and accosting nikki so she'll join us. she better, it's st. patrick's day. it's not like my feelings wouldn't be hurt.

The Random Photo Array, Part Two








me and bill at some cast party (well..i lose track at this point)
i have never seen that look on my face...EVER.
(bill's gonna hate me for posting this)










me and one of bill's dogs, Spliff..he was trying to eat my hand and not the dog biscuit.










my friend tamara (lucky bugger lives in Colorado now) and i at my first (and only so far) Christmas Party in 2001.

last had to be the worst delivery night EVER. no, for real, i had a whole whopping 4 deliveries. good thing i had good tippers..and when i say good tippers, i mean mainly nikki....and she gave me water. damn..what a gal. so since it was kurt bartending, sissy hostessing, and diana and joe on the floor...it was sorta necessary i was out front anyhow. the good news is people are stopping with "is that green/blue in your HAIR?" / "did you do that on purpose??" and advancing on to "hey i like your hair, that's cool" and sometimes "that's neat, did you do that for st. patrick's day?" *sigh* well, i'll let that go. i hope most of it washes out for monday. i mean really..how much more irish can you get...dyeing your hair GREEN??? well...you could drink green beer. why is it people think making things green makes it irish? that's way too simple. go drink a Guinness...go eat some Shepherd's Pie...hell, go watch Boondock Saints (yea, that's for you kim).
anyhow, after work last night i went out to Crusens on Farmington Road to meet up with chalise, matt, and rika..and their Red Cross co-workers. man, can their cohorts party. i'll have to introduce them to MY co-workers. i think i did too many shots. damn, it's hard when people keep giving them too you. don't worry, i was fine to drive. me and chalsie drink like champs. chalise was a bit drunk but only cause she'd been there pretty long..but hey, she made money flashing people...way to go chalise! :)

SCROLL DOWN!! MORE RANDOM PICTURES!!!

this is the ACTUAL, content-ridden post for thursday, march 13....so i hope you scrolled down this far. i have to say, my high school SUCKS now...seriously...they call that SECURITY??!! but yet all those fliers have to get an approval...sheesh. sorry nik, my high school was much cooler when i went there..and it didn't smell that bad...well, it smelled the same. but anyhow, i cooked myself an egg sandwich and it sucked. thought i'd share that. damn, i suck at this cooking thing...i'm off now to drown my "damn-my-self-made-egg-sandwich-sucked" sorrow in some Captain at pepperoni's and i think i'll order food too..and bug diana and tiffany...like i'm best at. later i'm going to go see Gods and Generals with kim.

The Random Photo Array, Part One








me, lynn, and kathy at our xmas skit in december 2001.
i think i was trying for a Charlie's Angels pose.....dork.










i'm not really a pianist, but i play one on my blog.
get it? get it?? ahh..ok.










i don't know what the hell i was trying to pull off here.
what do you think are in britt?? a MUSICAL???

so i've been doing a lot of listening to a lot of Finch lately..i don't know what it is..i'll listen to A LOT of certain bands for a month (or a few weeks) at a time..then switch over to the next contestant. ok, so, i'm working 20 hours at waldenbooks this week and 16 at pepperoni's, but i still have free time. shut up, i know i shouldn't complain...but i feel like i should be doing something..like washing my car. good idea. i think i will. and then i'll get EGGED again. those bastards, i hope i catch them. oh yea, and nikki, i got a starer at the stoplight yesterday, but i think it was my blue hair. jesus people, show some fucking respect, like i can't see you staring at me. so i looked over and looked really scared. the person immediately started looking around them and getting all paranoid. man, i LOVE that..i hope i can do it again today.

i knew it!!! squirrels DO drink Guinness!!




and get ready...Random Photo Time is near...

announcing...my first webcomic....

you have to click here to see it

and it may not apply humor to all masses...it's sorta just a big long stupid inside joke amongst diana, me, kaci,a nd nellie...

and i had a nightmare about a clown last night!!! argh!

first off, a BIG Happy 28th Birthday to Bill!!!!

i got two excellent pieces in the mail today...my new ATM card ("they take forever" my ASS) and my tax return. well good, at least now i can deposit it. and on something completely different: i don't get bedhead at all, but lately i've noticed when i go to bed when it's halfway wet still, it gets all funky in the morning. that's all i can say about that. it's just funky. such as it is today. i honestly don't know exactly what to do with it. if you're lucky enough to ever spend a night with me (insert laughter: AHHAHAHAHAH), you may see it. anyhow, tonight should indeed be a fun night at work, being that it's Fun Night Day..or is it Fun Night Night? oh well, whatever...i work with supercool people (with the exception of one elf) and even if i'm bored i still have a book to read. i swear to God, i get most my reading done at pepperoni's. oh! and i did another Random act last night...i helped an elderly prostitute cross the street in Creve Couer..ok, that was a lie..what tipped you off? heh...but i AM on the lookout for whatever bitch flipped nikki off last night..dammit..NO ONE flips nikki off! maybe me...but THAT'S it! yea, like i can do much damage, but it's the thought that counts...

i know i'm supposed to hand those little cards out when people are out of luck finding a book, but Harvest Books SUCKS! man, sorry bill, you make just have to drive out to Colorado to get Under Darkening Skies, and if you do, i want to go with. someone has to drink Fat Tire with you.

anyhow, new link added..relax, it's just ACT's newslog (it's a weblog that broadcasts our news...I MADE A WORD!! ahaha), but i put a lot of hard work (more like a little hard work and a lot of alcohol) into it, so go check it out..don't leave stupid comments though, professionals read this. i think i've decided a new amended lent thing to do is to make someone's day every day..or try to. i know, that sounds huge and super hero-like, but it's not really..it's like a random act of kindness thing. like the first day, i delivered food to the starvation-stricken nikki. no, really, i made her happy enough it made ME feel good. and then the next night, i forgot to bag this lady's last two books at work, so i chased her down...she was already outside of Bergner's (to the non-pekin mall familiars, that's a bit to run), but damn, she acted like i bought her a stripper..she was sooo grateful...sheesh lady, it WAS my fault..but still..again, she made ME feel good.

anyhow, i'm off to practice my fascist corporate upselling ways at that dirty beast i work at..waldenbooks.

i'm beginning to think everything is just a matter of perspective. i mean, really. i just got home from work 20 minutes ago (yea, for real, at 10:20), and i was just awaiting ANOTHER bad thing to happen...bear with me folks, i'm not about to launch into a "wah wah poor me i had a bad day" post..cause really, i didn't. at work though karen was a little more insufferable than i'd like to intake..i mean really...do you have to talk down to me that much? then, a special order i called tonight HUNG UP on me. granted, i think he knew i wasn't a telemarketer..but OUCH...that's just rude. so then, after work (we were 6 dollars off too, but karen wouldn't let me do squat closing the registers, so i blame her), i get to my car, and someone had thrown an egg on my window...i guess this is "egging" a car in pekin..losers..but what was bad was that it was cold, so it was like a frozen egg..ech. but before that, i relaized that i can't find my ATM card. i had it last in my coat pocket yesterday..yea yea..i know that's not safe, but it isn't like that's where i usually keep it. so i get home looking for the third-things-a-charm bad luck item of the night and find nothing. mom cooked spaghetti and we had all this beer. woo hoo...good sign. but AH HA..low and behold, i get to my tv to watch the new episode of "Friends" i'd taped...goddamn President Bush decides to make a speech...RIGHT OVER "Friends"!! argh! bastard. sure, after his speech "Friends" came on, right from the beginning...but see, i had set the tape to record for 30 minutes...so i get 25 minutes Bush Bastard Talky Talky and 5 minutes "Friends."

but you know, all this didn't necessarily bring me down..i mean, the egg came off....karen, well, let's just say anytime she talks down to me lately i retalliate with a smartass remark (honestly, it's a wonder i'm not fired yet)...i'll call CEFCU tomorrow and get another ATM card...and well.."Friends" always reruns. AND, i don't go in tomorrow until 11...AND i have beer!!! so it's all ok. the fact this all happened in a row is what irked me...but now i just find it funny...

anyhow, the shout outs (God, i hate that word) for wednesday march 5 are as follows: firstly, cause i know she'll be looking for this...Happy Birthday Nikki!!!! go ahead, wish her one. and Happy Ash Wednesday to all those Catholics aware of the holiday...if not, umm..it's ash wednesday, look alive fools. i'm not eating today, as usual. but i may intake a light meal if i have to. last year, i got sick...hmph..i can usually go all day without eating, i dunno what THAT was about...it's not like you starve yourself for a week..it's one day. but anyways...since most catholics take a few light meals on this day, i'm indulging in coffee (otherwise i will literally be asleep all day) and other spirits maybe later. i'm upset i couldn't make mass today, but hey what can ya do. instead of giving something up, i'm deciding on the positive and doing something. i'm going to try and be more patient with others and less selfish. not that i think i'm selfish at all...in fact, i'm pretty "it's-so-NOT-about-me," but it's always good to put others first. at least for 40 days...heh.

why is it punk bands like to jump so much?? and when they do it in unison it's so damn cute.

things to ponder for tuesday mar 4

- the Stupid Question (= "what's gonna happen to your store?/ are you guys staying?") has a new rival. be on the lookout for it's new predecessor: "did you know your hair is green/blue?"
- i don't much like stripping the covers of porn magazines (ie - ripping off the covers to reveal the VERY NAKED page 2) while karen is right there...it's just so very wrong.
- sometimes i think customers actually bring in their own dust and spread it. how the hell does that place get so damn dusty every day?
- nikki gave me 2 messages (one somewhat unoffical) to give to karen. last night she had said "fuck her." today, she had told me to "tell her hi." so it came out as: "karen, nikki says she wants to fuck you high." karen says you need to call her, nikki.
- NASCAR should be replaced with a bunch of school busses...running into each other..now THAT i'd watch.
- diana and tiffany had my senior picture out when i got to pepperoni's this afternoon....those bitches....i'm lucky they don't have a scanner...

yesterday was interesting..i thought i had the day off, but ended up working most of it. karen called me at 12:15 with the international stupid question of "did you know you were supposed to be at work right now?" ummm...let me think about that one: no. so i rush in, stinky..yes, i was STINKY...i just kinda threw some clothes on and went in. i was sorta bummed i WASN'T closing that night cause i usually close 2 of the three days i can (mon, thrs, or sat), and monday was looking to be a night i honestly could find nothing to do. (there is NOTHING good on tv at ALL) but jean hurt her back and couldn't come in. damn, i COULD have..but wait, doris is easily persuaded (she was only coming in so poor sickened nikki wouldn't be alone)..and damn she was, she even said she was gonna give me a big kiss when she saw me next. yea, yea, get in line...so during my 5 minute roughly 2 hour break...i de-stank myself and went over to bill's to work on the flier for the educator appreciation days at waldenbooks..but ended up discussing a lot for the ACT weblog and webpage. but that was good. i think i need to quit waldenbooks soon though, i am becoming somewhat of a unfiltered smartass to the people....

hehe..i saw this posted as a printed out email tonight at work..and i found it (and MORE) and HAD to post it:

REJECTED DR. SEUSS BOOKS

1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, You Bitch
2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
3. Fox In Detox
4. Who Shat in the Hat?
5. Horton Hires a Ho
6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax
7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
8. Your Colon Can Moo - Can You?
9. The Cat in the Blender
10. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out!
11. My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket
12. Aunts in My Pants


REJECTED LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
5. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
6. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
7. Some Kittens Can Fly
8. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
9. Grandpa Gets a Casket
10. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
11. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
12. Strangers Have the Best Candy
13. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
14. You Were an Accident
15. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
16. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
17. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
18. Your Nightmares Are Real
19. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
20. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
21. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

Bwahahaha... (Dr. evil laugh), this is Nikki, posting on Britt's blog because she is gone. I had forgotten that I had to power to post on here till she reminded me tonight. So... I thought, what the hell. So, hmmm... what to say?? Damn, the pressure. I do want to say that she worked her little ass off today, we were so busy, and I am not afraid to admit I was not running at full speed. So, a great big THANK YOU, to Britt! Ok, that is all.

Oh yea, everyone tease her about her fear of alligator heads. For real.

i had to get up early today. and i think i have a biological clock...cause apparently, my alarm doesn't work. or i'm a retard and didn't set it right. i think i may go with the second option. anyhow, i automatically woke up at 8 am. wow. this is a cool superpower. anyhow, i'm going to springfield today...i'm not up JUST to blog at 9 am. maybe if i get 67 preferred readers, they'll keep me. after springfield, i'm coming home and drinking myself into a stupor going to rehearsal. dammit...i need to highlight my lines. i am currently without a highlighter. what kind of actor am i? damn. i apprently like all forms of the word "damn". which reminds me, Lent starts on wednesday...i need something to give up. and cussing is gonna suck majorly AGAIN. i can't keep giving that up...i give a whole new meaning to the word "craptacular". wednesday is also nikki's b-day, so go wish her one.

me and chalise watched some videos (circa 1992) last night after i got off work. under A LOT of influence of wine and german beer. damn, we were stupid. but we obviously had fun..can't beat that. after watching some of these, i wonder why i won't karaoke. and i didn't even DRINK then.

good movie recommendation....if you have the means i highly suggest it: The Dreamlife of Angels

tonight I have had such a great time. I drank some red bull and vodka, and then some michelob ultra. I have had a really good time!!! I'm sorry that I haven't come more often. These are the coolest people that I have ever hung out with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i say to WANG CHUNG TONIGHT!!!!

POSTED BY KACI (ignore the "posted by diana")

hey...I'm getting drunk. Umm. what can I say? We are having a really good time and ...I don't wanna sober up. I like picking my nose with my friends...don't you? Why does the night have to end and the morning begin? Why do we have to work for a living...I just wanna drink and hang out with the people who are important to me. Now I'm mad...I must go drink a beer.

just so you know...we ALL pick our nose...it's the collective webcam shot of (from top left) : me, diana, nellie, and kaci.
right now kaci's leaving a message on kurt's cell claiming that the test strip came back BLUE!!!!