Saturday, May 31, 2003

so i need to post to get my mind off certain sad things....it's happy day dammit...andrea graduated and sissy and dave's reception party is tonight....so here we go...another "how to anger people" list:

Mean Things To Do To Customers
- when a fat lady and a skinny lady come in, ask "just three of you today?"
- end every sentence with "ass bandit."
( ie - "there you go, ass bandit," "have a good night, ass bandit," "here's your water, ass bandit")
- mimic their voice when they order, but exaggerate.
- keep changing your waitress name.
"hi, i'm janice, and i'll be your waitress"......"here's your salad, and again, my name is pietra."
- tell them you're out of everything, including water.
- tell customers that they walk ALL WRONG.
- use the adjective "frivolous" A LOT.
- pretend like you know the couple (young OR old, the older the better) from "wild times before." mention prom night. ask if they might know where your panties are.
- ask if you can have a bite of their meal.
- go ahead and just take a bite of their meal.
- ask if they know what the hokey pokey is all about, walk away before they answer.
- get an accent when you take an order. keep changing it.
- remark to the husband/wife about the significant other that you'd "hit that shit again."

Friday, May 30, 2003

i have some sad news....Bungee passed away today. she had been real sick i could tell and especially cold. i tried my best to save her and was even going to take her into the vet tomorrow, but when i checked on her at about 6 tonight, she was lying on her back with her mouth open. i lost it, i thought she was gone, but she was still breathing a bit. my god, this tears me up. i am happy she's at peace now and yes, i have to accept that not all kittens make it. i just thank god nikki took runt when she did, she saved her life. that's the worst thing about being a cat lover (or animal lover for that matter), it tears your heart in half when they leave. so everyone, grab your cat or dog or whatever tonight and give them a hug.
apparently, i like posting in this format, so wait it out with me...it'll pass like any other fad i pick up (note: my fads are self-created, they come out of nowhere and disappear into nowhere)

- my mom is back and safe at home...apprently, it was pretty damn early when she got here. i was so totally planning to go up there today.
- i got a speeding ticket yesterday (i think...he gave me back my liscense???)...bastard.
- i like almost everything from the Daredevil soundtrack that i've heard so far. somebody buy it for me already.
- fuck blogger, get with it with the new version already.
- the black kitten (known temporarily as Moose...soon to be Scarface) has his eyes open. i know it's a boy, it LOOKS like a tomcat.
- Good Charlotte HAS not come to my party...
- CONGRATS SISSY AND DAVE!!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 29, 2003

- i'm building a tolerance to benadryl...that's no good.
- The name 'Aspirin' was taken from the terms 'acetylsalicylic acid' and 'spiraea ulmaria.'
- i'm also full of useless info.
- MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 7 DAYS!! (and all i really want is a card saying how much you love me)
- my mom goes in for surgery tomorrow (today technically)...send good thoughts.
- sissy and dave are getting married friday...wooo! way to go guys! this is my cyber congrats...like they'll ever see this.
- i actually got paid for Liquid Lunch today....i delivered food out to the waldenbooks gang and erica clocked me in for an hour.
- go visit niccole's blog
- i sure as hell mumble a lot (shut up nik).
- when is blogger gonna fix all these bugs and start making things less "hi-i'm-on-crack" ??
- ok, maybe the benadryl is working....

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

anyone remember Anthrax the band? remember that song "Black Lodge"? yea, i liked that song a lot. damn, the songs you forget about...damn, this benadryl is strong tonight....

Monday, May 26, 2003

a lot of random thoughts from britt

what the hell is up with blogger anyways??? it's getting all "hi-i'm-on-a-lot-of-crack" ish. anyhow, my memorial day went well. i did pretty much nothing. i helped niccole get a jump start on her blog. nikki was doing fine, but she has this misconception she isn't "smart enough." i personally think she's a damn genius, but you can't beat that into her. i did get to see my aunt carol and uncle dave from North Carolina, who have been here all weekend, but i've been a working stiff and hadn't seen em. anyone want a kitten?? i got bill and barb Waiting For Guffman cause they LOVED Best In Show and weren't able to locate Guffman. me being the video store whiz i am found it. they rewarded me with a glass of beer and liquor candy and Thomas Crown Affair and Men In Black II to watch. thanks guys. did anyone want a kitten?? i also rented Dahmer and The Notorious C.H.O. damn, i love Margaret Cho. how are we on that kitten??? we got them all named now. Runt is doing fine ...damn, i really wish i could take her home.

Saturday, May 24, 2003

that picture fun post was sooo much fun that i forgot to post. and also, a lot has happened since then. thursday night (no, wait, it was like 1:00 pm, so yea, thursday afternoon) when i went into work, my mom calls about an hour later:
Mom: Britt?
Me: yea?
Mom: ummm..the stray cat just had three kittens
Me: what??!! i didn't know she was pregnant...
Mom: well...apparently she is...oops, here's comes another one, call you back

(use mouseover for description)

the whole gang (all five of them)
we call this one pete...i think

my mom named this one Bungee cause it fell from a distance after it was born and felt nothing...aww..it's yelling at me in this one

they're all blind as a bat and fighting for space
i forgot what we named this one...maybe Davey??  but LOOK at that face

this one we call Caroline cause my aunt Carol helped deliver the last one



yep, leroy had 5 kittens. now i have a literal shitload of kittens to get rid of. me and diana are thinking of putting up "free kitten" fliers and naming them "KITTY EXPLOSION!" anyone want a kitten?? huh? huh? well, anyway, i got to see them a bit yesterday between my two shifts...waldenbooks being the one from HELL. sure i know, both registers were working for ME, but #103 DID get up a receipt, and get this, it was right after i was about to void out something, THAT'S when it ate it. this lady's check was declined, so she rushed out to get $$$ from the ATM, and just when i thought she wasn't returning, i hit "void." as the register starts to violently chew up the receipt, in she waltzes. argh. and seriously, i had all this bargain rearranging to do, and they wouldn't stop coming in. and the questions get stupider by the hour. oh well, i worked my ass off the last few days, and now i'm done. both bill and my mom came in yesterday. i was afraid it would be really hard on my mom cause of what happened to Zales...i mean she literally went through the exact same thing. the good thing is, sandi went out with my (almost entire) family last night and had fun...and i WORKED. yea, i know waldenbooks was busy as hell...but so was pepperoni's...how is THAT possible?? is there THAT many people in pekin? anyhow, jennifer manns called in....well, not really, see she has 8 million (actually 5) kids and didn't have a babysitter...argh joe, never hire someone with kids. anyhow diana did fine, of course, but joe was running around like a freak, so i had step behind the bar. i served one of the nascar people a bloody mary, and see, my sister taught me how to make these...and i made it the way she taught me. haha...the poor guy was coughing...it was too spicy. wuss. hehe...and the other nascarians called him that. ha...that made my night. and also getting to say "too spicy?! what do you mean TOO spicy??" i missed out on davis bros with my family (no biggie, i assure you, i can drink with them on anything you want to classify as an "occasion") but i was at pepperoni's til after 10...sissy and dave and nellie came in, then nikki. so we went over to get Runt for nikki to take care of. i really hope she (i think it's a she, it is a tortoiseshell) pulls through, sissy said she'd take her if she did. i'm talking about the cat here people, not nikki. anyhow, i got SO MUCH to do today, oh my god...well, not really...me and my parents are popping oput to waldenbooks to say good bye and give sandi a gift, then me and bill are going over to bill's computer (the OTHER bill...the Whistler), and i also promised to help dave set up an ebay seller account, and at some point i'm going to go visit Runt. damn, let me go already then...

Thursday, May 22, 2003

more picture fun coming, but first...i had a thought yesterday...and it's thought provoking. see, i had to throw away some bras (for the same reason people throw away underwear), then i thought, "wait, what if i'm distgustingly famous one day??? won't these be worth something??" then i threw them out. anyhow, LL was fun as always, but joe is not getting rid of the Guinness, so i DIDN'T have to try and drink it all....i tried anyhow. i took some pics of yesterday too...as follows...( use the handy mouseover trick for description)

this is some freaky house on Park Ave, it has all these scary evil signs on it...i'll try to get a better picture someday

again with the freaky house

momma kitty with her kittens and even bitchy kitty all cramped into the box

look how little she is...don't you want one now??

bitchy kitty checks out her little sister

bitchy stands guard once again...momma kitty looks drugged

momma takes her kitten back to the box

nellie's new hair ornament

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

ok ok, since you REALLY wanted to see what my hair actually LOOKED like (please note, it changes daily), here you go:

i dunno where the hell that smile came from, i've never seen it before in my life

i apologize for the extreme"hi-i'm-a-dork" iness of the photo, the sun WAS in my eyes....

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

straight from my rant journal at work.....brought home for two days cause the district manager and her boss are there and my journal just might be TOO MUCH...damn fascist ass ramming corporation....i give you a sample entry i had more fun writing than ANYthing:

Fun & Exciting Things To Do Before the Big Close

1) blame a customer specifically for the store's closing.
(ie- "YOU! Joyce Calvert! you're the reason we can't stay open!!! OUT!")
2) make up a fake credit card, demand we're only taking that one now.
3) speed through the mall parking lot screaming at the top of your lungs "I HAVE NO BRAKES!"
4) make long distance phone calls (try calling Siberia if possible).
5) allow children to pee freely on the books (hey, it IS a free country).

more exerpts??? yea, only by popular request...

Monday, May 19, 2003

see what happens when you dye your hair blue/purple??? the bathwater TURNS blue/purple after the first wash!!! isn't that COOL?? don't YOU wanna dye your hair now and be cool like that??? yea yea, you know you want to...

in this case, water REALLY is blue

Sunday, May 18, 2003

happy prequelversary! no really....it's a kinda holiday, i celebrate it, dammit. as for the last post, yea, i can get short and sweet and i guess apparently stressed too. see, i never looked at myself as someone who could be stressed. i was never one of those study study people..actually, i maintained a B average through high school and college and i never really studied. hell..i never study my lines, i just eventually learn them (and everyone else's somehow..whoops). my friend kim hated that in high school. she was one of those study til the dawn's light types and she'd manage an A of course on the test...and i'd barely study and also manage and A..maybe a B. she was always stressed though. oh well...i guess i'm blessed...or NOT. why am i stressed now? i try and hide it, but i guess you can see it in my eyes (that could be the allergy drugged look). oh well...i'm sorry if it alarmed anyone, i'm not anything that needs to be concerned about and i'm not a wah-wah-poor-me-i'm-such-a-big-baby-feel-sorry-for-me-on-my-blog. sheesh people, if i wanted sympathy, i'd call all of you at 2 in the morning all sad and crying (and drunk too).

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 18 DAYS!!!!!!!

Saturday, May 17, 2003

i guess i needed to post...WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME? i've been busy and stressed out get off my back.

Friday, May 16, 2003

anyone that wants a copy of Impromptu (and the backsatge antics), let me know. email or comment system-wise. ill alert bill for the MASTER tape and send it off to you. merry xmas.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

drinking one cup of coffee all day then a few or so more beers is never a good thing. now wait a minute, i never said it was a BAD thing. yes, me and diana indulged yet again in the liquid lunch yesterday...but before that, i stopped into the bookstore (pekin's only, soon to be replaced by wal-mart and kroger) to get a magazine for my mom (yea yea..and a Star Wars one for me...go ahead...call me a geek...i DARE you), and lo and behold nikki pimps me out to a customer. she just referred to me as "her computer geek" (which aidan says sort of sounds like "this is my bitch, she'll help you out.") and what do you know...a job offer comes about. well...not really a job, but he wants me to look at his computer and see if i can rid of this virus and i think he's gonna pay me. damn. who is he...well...funny you should ask, you folks DO know him. that is, if you're faithful readers of my blog...he's the Whistling and Whistling Guy. damn, nikki blogged about it too...i'm so behind. anyhow, then i met diana for LL (that's what we call it yo) and man, could it be ANY more soap opera-y??? first joe is a total ass...i don't blame diana for getting upset, but i don't think joe was truly trying to be THAT mean, i think he'd just never heard of sissy getting married, and thought she was pulling his leg...what with the "Diana's going into the hospital to get her foot cut off that's why she's not working this weekend" story me, her, sissy and even joe pulled on diane (the little diane, the other waitress)....can you blame him? anyhow, jen rutledge was actually being cool, and she told that traveling salesman off...as well as diana..."is that a clip on tie??" and i bonded with a bar customer on what drinks to make people you hate...ie - a cement mixer.

later, i got the two deliveries from HELL, one was on marion point...off california road...WAY north (ie- we shouldn't deliver here, but we do), and the other was off s. 2nd street..although it SAID "s. 2nd street" acc to the customer...WAY south (ie- we shouldn't deliver here, but we do), so yea, i left at 8:15...didn't return til 10:00 cause i got majorly lost and there was shitloads of rain and lightning..and yes, the second one IS considered south pekin. so anyways, no big deal...i was getting paid, right? and my friend stacy got a REAL job...in the immortal words of bill..."ATTAWAY STACY!!!"

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

and here i was griping about Bush going to Oklahoma and declaring IT a disaster area....and then i hear about this news tonight. God, i hope they get all the aid they can get. those poor people.

Monday, May 12, 2003

unless you've been under a rock (valid only in central Illinois), you know there was huge tornado go through south pekin (which is 10 min from here and toooo damn close to where nikki lives)..if you didn't know, click here...we made national news....well, south pekin did. everyone is ok, 100 some homes were wiped out, but no one died and nikki is safe, but don't expect anything from her blog, her power is out for 2 weeks. and don't really expect her full story right away either (she was actually out IN it and SAW the damn thing), she's pretty shaken still. apparently, south pekin isn't letting anyone enter the town unless you're a resident, which is good, this isn't a damn tourist attraction people.

yesterday i worked 12-5 and GOD DAMN, were we busy...and seriously, it's getting annoying people...if you didn't care enough to give us business before (which is exactly why we're closing), don't bother now. plus, we didn't get all the changes done. something we usually do accomplish. afterward, we went to laurie's to feed the animals she has. good thing she's housesitting for her, since she's powerless and all (get it? powerless??? as in "no electrical power" HAHAHAHA...heh...). then we picked up sandi, visited with my family for all of 5 seconds and met kim to see Identity...which was...well..look at my mouseover fool. i'd see it again. and since nikki was still freaked over the whole tornado trauma (damn...i don't blame her), i stayed out at laurie's with her, which was cool, she has like a million animals. ok, i'm exaggerating, 2 dogs, 2 lizards, a snake, 4 cats and fish. but that's like a zoo. anyway, that's enough updating for now, maybe more tomorrow, if you're LUCKY.

Saturday, May 10, 2003

in honor of the Race For The Cure event i did today, here's a Top Ten List that ran through my head:

Top Ten Fun Things To Do At The Race For the Cure

1) smack someone on the butt, then look at the person next to you when they turn around
2) attempt a cartwheel...keep falling and stumbling
3) walk on the median, stick your tongue out at the "median police"
4) pretend like you're lost...even though you're following hundreds of people
5) steal people's race numbers and complain you "didn't get one"
6) sing 80s songs as loud as you can
7) run the walk portion of the RFTC
8) walk the run portion of the RFTC
9) run toward the sideline supporters (ie - the Three Miles of Men) like you're going to charge them
10) pretend to trip repeatedly and keep glaring at the person behind you

other than that, it was fun...i was up WAY too frickin' early...and did not have nearly enough coffee in me...but that's ok, cause see the POURING RAIN woke my ass right up. for real, i was DRENCHED...luckily, i brought a rain jacket....but my shirt got wet a bit still. wtf? anyhow, Race For The Cure turned into Wet T-shirt Contest For The Cure...yea...no. ugh...not a spring break party like you're thinking. it was funny though. last night at the Pier Party, it started raining, and you should have seen the people run to their cars...or leave rather. wussies. that was pretty fun last night too. anyhow, point is, the RFTC event POURED...but you know what, we're doing this for people that either didn't or did survive cancer...so what's a little rain? nothing. it's just water people. anyhow, i've got bills to pay and Mother's Day gifts to buy then work, so i'm off.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

i cannot tell you how much fun i had last night. no seriously, i sort of can't. apparently...i went to Applebee's to meet up with bill, brian, nikki, and beej (ie- "brian her husband" known as "beej" for web use and less confusion with the other brian). and much fun and laughter was had...yea, i remember that, then afterwards we went to kouri's through the power of suggestion. i was ready for bed though, but what the hell, i can sleep in today. don't get me wrong, i wasn't stinking drunk...i'd never drive then....but i was ready to pass out and i had had enough beer to make my liver sob....or kidney...whichever one's turn it is. so anyhow, i wake up today, and my head and stomach is scolding me...whoops. sorry guys. i treat them with McDonald's (hangover cure, no shit...must be something in the coke)...and while i'm eating, my damn tongue ring falls out. yea, this had never happened before, but nothing to be alarmed about...it's small. i just screwed it back in..which is hard to do cause it's your tongue and it's already wet and that makes it a bit difficult to screw on the barbell. but i got it back in. i showed my mom my tongue without it and she freaked. see, most moms freak at the sight of one, but not mine, she's been used to it, so she's like "put it back in!" my mom is so cool.

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

i hate corporations

in case you haven't heard from nikki's blog, Waldenbooks is closing up the Pekin shop May 24. i was told today 10 minutes into my shift. the district manager came in today (for what i'm not sure...to break the news i guess) and informed us. no sooner than 15 minutes later i had ordered a book for a customer (through the peoria store of course), and then through them (the Peoria employee that is) nikki found out. see, i spoke to amy at the peoria store, and she called laurie (the manager) after hearing, and laurie happened to be at lunch with nikki. so she calls me 5 min later. small world i tell you.

anyhow, i'm really mixed on what to feel about this whole thing. it took me for a huge shock today, i couldn't really concentrate on anything. this occurs the same week my dad has dental surgery and my mom goes in for ERCP surgery, so yea, i'm not sure what really to think yet. i honestly do feel for everyone else...i mean hell, I'LL be ok, i got another job. i'm fairly certain this will all hit me about late may early june, so be prepared for a freak out.

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

i honestly thought i was better than this....but seriously, you CAN trust me, i'm one of the most trustworthy people around. hell, i got people i dislike at the moment secrets STILL shrouded in privacy.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
my mom makes the best spaghetti ever. and nikki makes the best lasagna ever. sissy better make me the best birthday cake ever.

EDIT: and diana makes the best "here, let me a hand you a beer as you JUST WALK IN my house" ever.

Monday, May 05, 2003

1 MINUTE AGO: reading The Weight of Water
1 DAY AGO: from like right now? damn...let's see, i think i was drinking coffee with diana
1 WEEK AGO: haha..this is so funny, cause i can SO check...ok: i was having the liquid lunch at pepperoni's...damn..why are we not doing that now? or why aren't i?
1 YEAR AGO: again...i can check..this is so fun: ahhh..it was the day after Celebration II in Indy...but i have NO clue what i was doing that day...
CURRENT CLOTHES: I haven't showered yet and still have on a t-shirt and pajama pants...can anyone say "WOO sexy" ?? yea, i didn't think so.
CURRENT MOOD: waking up...is that a mood?? other than that, i'm pretty happy.
CURRENT MUSIC: this Ben harper CD nikki made for me...i've been meaning to listen to it, but i couldn't find it...it was in the car the whole time...duh.
CURRENT TASTE IN MOUTH: coffee...damn, this one is personal
CURRENT HAIR: pulled back cause when i sleep on it wet, it gets this funky stick up thing all over. oh, and it's the current colors of blue, purple and green. WOO.
CURRENT ANNOYANCE: the fact i gotta work at 6.
CURRENT SMELL: i actually don't think i stink...i copuld be wrong.
CUURENT THING I SHOULD BE DOING: helping the homeless of South Pekin.
CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE: the northern lights.
CURRENT BOOK: i told you dammit...don't you surveys listen? The Weight of Water by Anita Shreve.
CURRENT MOVIE IN VCR: none thus far.
CURRENT REFRESHMENT: coffee...soon to be beer.
CURRENT WORRY: i need to move out and get a real job and become cool.
CURRENT CRUSH: i got a thing for all you guys.

Saturday, May 03, 2003

The Friday SATURDAY Five

1. Name one song you hate to admit you like. well..some of the pop ones, especially now it's "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake

2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
1)"Sonny" by New Found Glory gets me every time, especially after i found out what it was about.
2) "The One" by Elton John cause it was my sister's wedding song...but that's a GOOD cry right?


3. Name three songs that turn you on. say what? why would a song turn me on? if it did, i'd need help

4. Name four songs that always make you feel good. ok...don't laugh at ANY of these...or i'll beat you
1) "Steal My Sunshine" Len
2) "Nowadays" Chicago soundtrack
3) "Here Comes the Sun" The Beatles
4) "The Tide is High" Blondie AND...(added bonus songs cause it's my blog and i can do what i want)
5) "Dancing Queen" Abba
6) "Give a Little Bit" Supertramp
7) "The Authority Song" Jimmy Eat World
(so i cheated...sue me)


5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without. isn't this kind of the same as the last one? ok, fine.
1) "A Day in the Life" The Beatles
2) "Karma Police" Radiohead
3) "Angel" Aerosmith
4) "Always Wear Sunscreen" Baz Luhrman
5) "Promises" The Cranberries
mostly cause they all have some sort of significant meaning to me....but i still think this question is somewhat redundant of #4.

Friday, May 02, 2003

ANOTHER POST....THREE!!! WOOOO!!!!!!

Ways To Piss Off Your Customers

- refer to every girl- girl table as "you damn lesbians" and every guy-guy table as "you damn gay wads."
- talk freely of the dishes featuring baby when a table has a baby. keep eyeing teh baby as you talk.
- when someone asks for a shot, shoot them in the leg with your BB gun. (note: must bring BB gun to work with you)
- when customers ask about the "special," start acting retarded. *
- try to sell inhalants (anything you have in the restaurant) to children...give them half price the first time.

* Tiffany not included due to unfair background
Things That Are Funny Only When My Mom Says Them

- "booty call"
- "poop"
- any variation of "Celine Dion"...it comes out "Salon," "Salane," etc
- "michelob" used to be pronounced "mish-ee-bob" apparently
- "jagermesiter" = "Jagger Mister"
- my friends names she's messed up: Chalise = "shaheena" (once when drunk), Tamara = "tomorrow", Khalilah = "kaluha"
and apparently, people WILL RESPOND to your survey you send out via e-mail if you name it "ass rammer."

Thursday, May 01, 2003

apparently if you shop enough on thinkgeek.com, you get GEEK POINTS. woo! how the hell did i score 275 so fast??

i feel guilty...maybe cause i'm catholic and that's the default feeling...but i really like the new Mudvayne song...ok..maybe it's not "NEW"..bite me. and here this band is FROM here..and i never went to see them before they hit it big. and i had tons of chances too. bad bad britt. anyhow, the cats are ok...a lot better than i anticipated..damn, i was worried about them. i had tonight off, but i never know what to do with a night off so i asked joe if i could work. plus i'm working with diana and sissy, like i'm gonna turn THAT down. i feel like i haven't been on the net lately...well, evening wise..even though i got this nice nuclear computer at nikki's. anyhow, after this week (maybe) i'll resume to being a regularly scheduled geek.